no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I think my moral compass just broke
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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