Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
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It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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