just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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