the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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