3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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