The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
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