wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
