you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
