a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
