He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
