wat bout pragnant strippers??
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
