I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I party with great urgency now.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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