okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
