so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
