Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
