Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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