so that wasnt chicken after all
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
