drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
