This dress was meant to end up on your floor
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
