Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize