well you can't waste a boner
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He better not be in your backpack
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
