is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
handjob tips. give me some.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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