then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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