I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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