is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
