Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
