Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
