I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
