dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
