I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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