Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
