I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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