FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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