But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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