I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize
