forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
