apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
