So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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