so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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