Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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