Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
