It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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