this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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