Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
