Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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