Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Green mimosas i think yes
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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