We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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