i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize