all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
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I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
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I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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