i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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