My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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