Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
