Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
