I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
