he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
