I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
