there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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