is your mom at the bar?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
