omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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