I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
