So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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