if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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