remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize