I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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