living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
My bed smells like the plague
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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