1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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