I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
